Oh, Father Time

Where were you when I was still full of adventure and careless and carefree and fun?
Where were you when I didn't know what it meant to be judged.
When lies were dismissed as nurture to protect the innocent ears
from the truths that years would inevitably reveal.

Where were you when I was still young enough to not know better
and could articulate my feelings without second guessing my each and every thought?

Before fear had his hands in my head
and your old lies lived in my bed
making me think I was not good enough.

I remember a girl who only wanted to live
and love
and die when it was time,
but then time was a lifetime away.
And now it creeps up
like a cold breath,
a snake in the grass,
like the woman that I don't know
who's trapped in the reflections of the shiny windows
on my way to a daily routine
fit for the queen of nothing.

They call it making a living
I call it losing my life.

When will I have time to have time to be happy?